Miss You

I'm missing my little goose something fierce tonight, so I thought I'd post a picture.

I took this picture when Aria was 6 weeks old, six days before she died.  When she was about a month old her hair started to go curly like her brother's.  I just loved the way little strands of hair would curl up around her headbands (for example, see the curl at the nape of her neck, behind her ear.  so cute.) 

I'm missing that warm little body in my arms.  And giving her smoosh kisses on those chubby cheeks.  When I would do too many she would get a little annoyed and wrinkle her face up.  I miss those pointer fingers that never seemed willing to relax like the rest of them.  

These have been a couple of harder days.  Last week I actually had a few days where I felt guilty because I didn't feel like I was grieving ENOUGH - I felt like I was slipping back into a normal life routine too easily.  Then over the last couple days I've had the opposite problem - hurting so much that I don't know how life could ever be normal again.  I don't know if that's because her one month mark is in a couple days, or if this is just the natural ebb and flow of the grieving process.  Probably a combination of both.